Letters to Florencio: Miami Basics

Dear Florencio:

I know you’re incredibly excited about the whole Miami experience, and we are very much looking forward to hosting you and showing you around!

But before you break out your Tommy Bahama-style shirt, khakis, and shades, let’s go over some other —just as important—items that will keep you safe while visiting in the Sunshine State.

1. Sunscreen. Yes, this is a must in Miami. I know you flamingoes like your pink complexion, but careful, here you need to apply sunscreen, even if it’s not hot. November marks the end of hurricane season in Florida, and the beginning of the most amazing weather. We naturally want to be out and about on a sunny day —just remember we’re getting closer to the Equator here, and sunrays can be pretty unforgiving.
2. Bug repellent. By November, most bugs are dead or dormant in the rest of the country. Not in Florida. Those critters don’t get a break here, and neither do we. This is especially important if you’ll be venturing to National Parks, or at the beach after dusk.
3. Bring a sweater. Just as the rest of the country is donning heavy coats, gloves, and hats, we Floridians do too. Surprised? Well, after a few months of 90-degree Fahrenheit weather, how do you expect us to deal with temperatures in the low 70’s ? We don’t understand how you flamingoes survive in places where the temperatures drop below 60 (and the snow falls above 500 feet, as in Portland!). I’m sure you’ll be able to spot Miamians at the Conference. Just don’t say anything, ok?
4. A word about safety. The fact that we live la vida loca here in Miami, doesn’t mean we do it with carelessness. If you decide to rent a car or drive your own, don’t leave your valuables in there. Not even hidden. And after you go on that shopping spree you’ve been looking forward to in the Sawgrass Mills, the Dolphin, or any of the other fabulous malls we have in South Florida, don’t drop your bags in the backseat and continue shopping (or go elsewhere). Just like it is easy for you to spot Miamians, you flamingoes stand out as well. Like any other big city, be mindful of your surroundings, don’t walk alone at night, and stay away from isolated places.
5. Driving in Miami. Contrary to popular belief, we do have traffic rules in South Florida. However, we can’t seem to find anywhere how to properly use the horn, so we experiment all the time. This will come as a surprise to you, but drivers here are honk-happy (no, we’re not happy when we use it, yet, we use it often). And turning signal lights? Not quite sure what they’re used for. I guess that’s how we can tell apart foreign flamingoes from the local variety.

Now that you know the basics, go ahead and rent that convertible and drive over the McArthur Causeway, (or road 395) while listening to Miami’s own Pitbull, you know you want to.

Can’t wait to show you around!

Daniela